David Lee Roth can’t sing. Now please allow me to qualify that statement with two more bits of information. 1. He still can and does make an impressive racket if not always a tuneful one. And 2. I love David Lee Roth. I know my original statement only adds fuel to the fire of his long contrived tenure as the frontman for Van Halen and by all other accounts in that band, he does in fact suffer under the influence of LSD: lead singer disorder. An ailment defined by both the ego and the flaunting of said ego by said lead singers. That of course though is merely an internal problem challenging those band members behind him but LSD to those in front of the front person may be viewed as charisma, showmanship and maybe even simply a display of the actions that define the term rockstar. Make no mistake, the rockstar persona of DLR sold a lot of records so we must contend with the success lacing the LSD.
In many ways gyms have fallen under the same spell as DLR’s fans and they are always on the hunt for rockstar instructors to lead their classes believing if they do, their classes will develop a following and be successful.
The allure of the literal rockstar is embedded not so much in their talent but their promiscuity. It is that promiscuity that made many men want to be DLR. For those unconvinced, DLR would deal with the occasional male outlier heckler by retorting to whatever insults hurled at him with “shut up before I go down their (into the seats) and fuck your girlfriend”. Please note that what is left unsaid and part of the real threat is that he would emasculate his heckler not simply through a sexual act with his girlfriend but by his girlfriend wanting to engage in said sexual act. In this sense DLR weaponsided not sex but lust.
A group exercise instructor characterized as a rockstar leading a class is often (if inadvertently) weaponizing envy. This kind of rockstar embodies the physique that patrons covet and by virtue of some brand of logic, the one that possesses the body they want to achieve, is the most fitting instructor to lead the class one might be attending in an effort to change their body. This logic is forged in the hope that the instructor is going to share their secret which is always the same information but with new promise and credibility seeping out of enviable packaging. Even if the rockstar does not share their secrets then perhaps they will shame participants into feeling bad enough about themselves to spur change. This is thought to be an effective tactic since simply hating one’s body by oneself is often not enough of a motivator to change if ever self loathing breeds anything beyond self loathing. My insdusty is a continuously blowing a dog whistle summoning all of the self loathers within earshot to seek shelter in the hope of a body of impenetrable confidence even if the hope it inspires muffles the logic that there is not much that makes a rockstar that can be taught anymore than one’s DNA can leap from their cells and begin spilling their ancestral guts into our envious heredity.
Either way this rockstar can conjure worship but not engagement; followers not communities. This of course is not to say every hard body is incapable of such achievements but to simply acknowledge all that can get in the way of engagement and communities. Low body fat percentages and prominent muscles, after all, are easy to spot and unfortunately easier to spot than the sometimes silent attention of engagement or the slow evolution of communities. That is also to say that the concepts behind developing engaging and cultivating communities will often likely take a back seat to the allure of envy. It is also easier to market envy than it is to market, well anything else, with the possible exception of fear. The reasoning for this is twofold. First, most marketing is visual. You can give visual examples of fitness with less ambiguity than say engagement and community. Secondly it is harder to convince people they actually want process and not just results. And so the marketing focuses on the results and ignores the process and our best intentions and attention is lost in the mist of seductive montage clips; just long enough to inspire but not nearly long enough to convey the reality of the process it documents.
Appreciation needn’t involve emulation. Take inspiration where you can get it but sing along to the songs you love in your voice, not someone else’s. You are only ever going to be, at your best, the best version of you no matter what side of the rockstar you are on.
In summation, I do recommend going to see DLR perform but don’t use that time to learn how to be DLR; and maybe don’t bring your girlfriend.